Dating care single
Let them know that you are just trying to live a healthy, balanced life and dating can be part of that balance. Get some information about the disease from your local Alzheimer's organization and ask him or her to read it. Not unlike two year olds, your care receivers may test the waters to see if a tantrum will keep you from making any changes in your life. Being a caregiver doesn't eliminate your personal needs.
When this happens, try detaching in a loving manner. View dating as part of your own good health, which, in the longer run, only comes back to better benefit those you are caring for. That may mean your care receiver will need some in-home help or other types of help so you can give some of your time to your new relationship. Make sure the care receiver is well cared for in your absence and then enjoy having some life of your own.
This is one of those times. Your mom would fuss and act weird. It seems like they want all of your time. Reaffirm your love and commitment to them, but be aware that they may deliberately use the triggers they know will make you feel guilty. If your friend sets you up with a date, go ahead, but give it time before you take the plunge with a whole family introduction.
Your situation may be way too complicated for someone to pick up on in one session. Make sure the care receivers have good help while you are dating.
Either way, you may feel that moving forward with a life of your own is selfish. Caregiving is a huge part of your life. This role should be respected by someone who cares about you.
You are a human being who deserves love and care from a mate, if that is your choice. We can't expect our new love to get it right off.
Handling a situation with someone who has lost all social inhibition and may say something extremely rude is hard enough for people who expect this and have learned to cope. But you got through it because you needed to.
They may be afraid of change, so they can become controlling. Drop the Guilt Don't feel guilty. You deserve this and need not feel guilty. Take care to let them know that you aren't abandoning them.
You deserve to have your needs met as much as any other human being. Your job is to understand that you aren't responsible for their feelings. Adjustments will have to be made by all.
You probably love your care receiver though some people just do it out of feeling of duty. Your parents were dorky or whatever the word for parents was at that time. If the person you are dating will not make any effort to understand your situation, or that of your parents, consider this a red flag. Only now, you are middle aged or older and your parent or parents have dementia.
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